Everyday Moments That Sadly Affect How You See Yourself
Self-esteem is a fickle thing, and unfortunately, little everyday things can affect it more than we want them to. An awkward photo, a dismissive comment, or another person's achievement can all make us question ourselves out of nowhere, even if we were feeling perfectly fine five minutes ago. Some of these moments are simply unavoidable, but how you learn to deal with them is more important. To make sure you can recognize specific triggers so you can better respond to them, here are just 20 relatable everyday moments that affect our self-esteem.
1. Seeing A Bad Photo Of Yourself
All it takes is one unflattering photo to suddenly make us question how we looked all day. But the truth is, harsh lighting, awkward angles, lens manipulation, and more all play a part in how photos can turn out. Yet, instead of understanding these realities, we tend to boil it down to "it's just me."
2. Checking How Many Likes Your Post Got
Social media has its pros, but it also has many cons, like its system of likes and comments. For whatever reason, we've created a culture where we believe the number of likes has to do with our popularity—a correlation that is wholly untrue. Still, a weak reaction to a post can leave you (wrongly) wondering whether people dislike you.
Connor Scott McManus on Pexels
3. Trying On Clothes That No Longer Fit
As we get older, our bodies change whether we want them to or not. It's just a part of life! Yet finding that an old pair of jeans from years ago no longer fits still damages our self-esteem more than we'd like to admit. We treat it like a personal failure, when really, it's a beautiful thing that we're growing up and maturing.
4. Hearing Someone Joke About Your Insecurity
It's not a joke if you're not laughing about it; when someone targets something you're sensitive about, it feels much more like an insult than a fleeting comment. Hearing it once might be enough to make you even more hyperaware about your height, weight, hair, income, or whatever it is you're insecure about.
5. Looking Up What Your Friends Earn
Comparing yourself to others is a quick way to make yourself feel inadequate, and even though we know that, we still tend to do it. One of the most common comparisons we make is with our salaries. Discovering that someone your age earns way more than you can quickly make you question your decisions, even if it has no reflection on how successful you are.
6. Getting Left Out Of A Group Photo
Watching friends post pictures from an event you attended without seeing yourself in any of them can sting more than we want it to. It'll immediately leave you wondering if you were intentionally left out, making you assume the worst without knowing the reason. Not everything is personal, but social media makes it feel that way.
7. Being Interrupted Every Time You Speak
When you're frequently being talked over, whether by friends, family, or coworkers, it can start to make you feel less willing to contribute. You might begin to believe that they don't care about what you have to say, when really, other people are simply being impatient and just need to be told.
Small Group Network on Unsplash
8. Getting Rejected After A Job Interview
Rejection can be tough for anyone to handle, and when it's for something as important as a job interview (especially one you really want), it can hit even harder. These decisions are often based on much more than just you, like internal candidates, experience, and culture fit, but we still tend to shape the narrative to be about us.
9. Watching Everyone Else Announce Major Milestones
When your social media feed is all about everyone getting engaged, having babies, or buying houses, it's easy to feel like you're falling behind when you haven't hit those accomplishments. But the truth is, everyone's life is different and success means different things. We unfortunately just always forget this important detail when comparing ourselves to others.
10. Getting Ready Beside Someone You Think Is More Attractive
Getting ready next to a friend you think is more attractive turns your fun evening into an unwanted comparison session. Someone else looking good doesn't reduce how good you look, even though our minds can make us feel that way. It's all about learning to love yourself with confidence, but that's often easier said than done.
11. Being The Only Single Person In Your Friend Group
For whatever reason, society likes to make being single feel like a bad thing, even when there's nothing wrong with it. Which is why, if you happen to be the only single person in your friend group, it can feel like you're behind or missing out. It doesn't help that your friends might unintentionally make it worse by asking about it.
Queensland, Australia on Unsplash
12. Getting Ignored In The Group Chat
Sending a message that receives no response can feel extremely personal, leaving you to question if your friends find you annoying, boring, or easy to overlook. In reality, group chats are chaotic, and messages regularly get missed for reasons that have nothing to do with the person who sent them.
13. Hearing Your Parents Compare You To Someone Else
This one definitely cuts a little too close to home. Hearing your parents make comparisons about you and someone else, like a sibling, cousin, or family friend, no matter how gentle or light, can still sting and make you feel lesser than. They might not mean any harm, but it can affect how you think of your own successes.
14. Looking At Old Photos When You Were Younger
Looking at old photos can instantly bring you back in time, and sometimes, we romanticize this younger version of ourselves we wish we could be again. Whether it's you with younger skin, a different body, or thicker hair, it's dangerous comparing yourself to you, especially when age makes it impossible to meet certain standards.
15. Receiving A Backhanded Compliment
Comments like "You look good for your age" or "That outfit actually looks nice on you" aren't actually as nice as they appear to be. Hearing these words can make you doubt yourself instead of feel flattered. Because once that "compliment" is in your head, you might start noticing a new flaw that never bothered you before.
16. Walking Into A Room Where You Don't Know Anyone
Feeling uncomfortable at a social situation, like a party, networking event, or work function, can make you feel incapable a little too quickly. It's normal to feel shy or timid when you don't know anyone, yet we're always too hard on ourselves, criticizing the way we're too conscious of where we're standing and what we're wearing.
Baptista Ime James on Unsplash
17. Making A Mistake In Front Of Your Coworkers
Sending an email with the wrong attachment or giving an incorrect answer during a meeting can feel painfully embarrassing, yet it's never as bad as it sounds. Even though it's normal and natural, you'll still end up replaying the incident for hours, assuming everyone else remembers it just as clearly.
18. Getting Unmatched On A Dating App
The dating scene tends to make us feel the most vulnerable and sensitive, especially because trying to build a connection with others requires letting them see our true selves. So when a conversation ends or you get unmatched without explanation, our brain convinces us that we're the problem (even when it's not the case).
19. Seeing Yourself On A Video Call
Video meetings give you the unusual experience of staring at your own face while you're talking, which makes us more insecure than we realize. You might become distracted by your expressions, posture, skin, teeth, or the way your face moves on camera, thinking you look worse than you actually do.
20. Being Around A Friend Who Constantly One-Ups You
It's easy to feel like your good news isn't all that great when your friend immediately responds with a bigger accomplishment of their own. Again, comparison is a quick way to ruin our self-esteem. You shouldn't let your friend's achievement overshadow your own, yet it happens more often than not.
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