Love in the Gym
Gyms can be the ideal place to meet like-minded individuals and find your next partner or date. If you work out frequently or want to start a healthy relationship, it’s a natural place to look. However, there are lots of things you don’t want to do when looking for love at this venue. With that in mind, here is a list of dos and donts to help you find a gym hottie.
1. Pick the Right Gym
Selecting a gym where you can meet your partner may become very important. Try to pick a gym that the kind of person you are attracted to would most likely visit, instead of just the nearest place to your home. There is usually more competition in upmarket clubs, so always do your research.
2. Plan Your Approach
Be sure to give your approach a bit of thought before diving into talking to someone. For example, position yourself nearby and find a natural topic to bring up organically. Maybe make some eye contact to gauge their interest before approaching and starting a conversation.
3. Be Friendly
Walk over, make some eye contact, and give them a smile. If they like you, they'll smile back. Keep it simple!
4. Keep it Low Key
If you are meeting someone at the gym, your approach should be casual and low-key. Talk about the music or equipment, or make a statement about the workout. Give an honest compliment or ask for assistance with something.
5. The Right Workout
Pick a workout that gives you the best odds of meeting someone. You might not meet many people if you only take step or Bar Method classes, and that's okay if you're doing it just for the workout. Mix it up with treadmill runs, stair climbing, or time in the weight room where there will be more people.
6. Ask the Staff
Asking the staff for an update is another option for sizing their interest at the gym. If she's a regular, the staff will be familiar with her, and they can clue you in on whether she's single, interested, or the type to avoid.
7. Consistency
Visiting the gym at the same time, every time, is a smart strategy. The more consistent you are, the more recognizable and familiar you become. And the more likely it is that you'll naturally cross paths.
8. Actually Exercise
Looking the part ensures that you are one with the gym setting. It also shows that you mean business and that you care about your personal fitness. So be sure to actually take the time to exercise while you’re there too.
9. Take the Hint
Respect the hint. Sometimes, you may get subtle hints that it's not okay to approach someone, so pay attention. If they give positive signs, like smiling at you, small talk, or excitement, you're probably good.
10. The Big Move
Don't be in a hurry to ask them to leave the gym with you after your first approach. Keep it casual by continuing to be friendly and see if they’re receptive over the next couple of times you see them. After you've been chitchatting a couple of times, you can ask them if they'd like to meet for a smoothie or a workout.
Now that we talked about some of the things to do, here are 10 to not do!
1. Don’t Interrupt
Giving them space and time is a crucial component in your attempts to get to know someone at the gym. For example, never interrupt their set, and if they are on a serious workout, do not approach.
2. Don’t Be Creepy
When attempting to meet someone at the gym, do not be a creep or a stalker. Don't watch them go from machine to machine, or loiter around them for long stretches. Meeting them one time in a day, naturally, is sufficient to establish a pattern without being off-putting.
3. Don’t Be Condescending
When attempting to pick someone up at the gym, avoid being condescending. This means don't give them unsolicited advice or correct their form unless it's dangerous. Also, avoid flexing and glaring at them, since these moves will only spook them.
4. Don’t Show Off
Don't try to show off at the gym. Lifting heavier than you should and flexing your muscles is not going to impress anyone. You'll just look like a conceited show-off. It's much more attractive to be self-assured without acting like a jerk.
5. Don’t Tunnel Vision
Don't have tunnel vision. Keep your head up. Casually look at other people around you. You want to make people comfortable, so try subtly flirting with the people around you. A little eye contact, just enough to convey you're interested in them.
6. Don’t Offer Unsolicited Advice
Don't offer unsolicited advice or correct someone's form at the gym. Unless you're a personal trainer, it can sound condescending and leave a bad impression. Be friendly and sociable but avoid trying to "teach" them.
7. Don’t Rush It
Avoid being too pushy or impatient in your interactions. If you seem too eager or demanding, it might scare the other person off. Instead, be patient and let the relationship develop at its own pace.
8. Don’t Force Convos
Never push a conversation if the other party isn't interested in having a dialogue. Pushing communication will make them feel either smothered or irritated. Just allow the other person some room by ending the dialogue at that time.
9. Don’t Ignore Hygiene
Basic hygiene is of the utmost importance when making an attempt to attract someone at the gym. Potent smells, or the lack of them, can be very off-putting to the other person and make them want to steer clear. It's just a matter of respecting yourself and others.
10. Don’t Push
If you get rejected in the gym, don't be a stalker or a pest and ask them why or beg them to change their mind. Be respectful of their answer and walk away. You'll just make them more uncomfortable and ruin any chance of a second chance.
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