Do You Do These Things?
There are lots of behaviors and habits that may seem a bit odd and counterintuitive, but are dismissed as a normal part of life. For instance, having a drink now and then or procrastinating on homework is totally ordinary. However, at a certain point, these things can have unhealthy side effects and should be worth a closer look. In fact, some behaviors we think are normal may just be a cry for help.
1. Procrastination
Wanting to have fun instead of doing chores and homework is part of being human. However, if you have absolutely no ability to start important tasks, or they make you feel uncontrollable stress, then that’s not the typical experience. It’s not laziness that’s the cause, and a professional can help you identify what’s really going on.
2. Help Relaxing
It is common for people to use drinking to de-stress, or even other substances or intimacy, to “help them relax.” While these can be common, socially acceptable behaviors, they could be a defense mechanism for more emotional pain. Just make sure to ask if you’re trying to relax or avoiding something.
3. It’s Just a Phase
Many believe that it is normal for children to misbehave by running away, fighting, or disobeying. While this is a natural part of growing up, it may be a sign of emotional stress and should be met with concern. Just don’t dismiss these behaviors as “just a phase” until you’ve had a chance to talk.
4. Mood Swings
Shifts between highs and lows, such as being really happy or really angry, can easily be dismissed as mood swings. Even hormones or personality traits get blamed as the source. When these mood swings happen frequently and feel extreme or uncharacteristic, they may be signs of underlying stress or a cry for help.
5. Self-Sabotaging
Self-sabotaging behavior can often seem illogical, however, many of these behaviors are a result of unresolved emotional hurt. If this resonates with you, a counselor can assist in processing what is happening. It’s important to be careful, though, as stringent sabotaging can negatively affect your life in the long term.
6. The Quiet Type
Some people are naturally quieter than others, but prolonged silence, especially from a child or teen, may be an indication that something is wrong. If you have someone in your life who rarely talks or shuts down completely around you, you might consider gently nudging them in the right direction. Silence can be a sign of extreme anxiety, fear, or even past trauma.
7. Friendship Struggles
Some may think it's normal to just grow apart from people or not have close friends. But if you struggle to maintain friendships over time, and this is a repeated pattern, it could be due to underlying emotional pain, trust issues, or previous wounding. A professional can assist in unpacking the pattern and developing healthier connections.
8. Too Tired
It's normal to feel tired every now and then, particularly when you have a lot going on or are experiencing stress. But if you're always worn out and tired even after resting, it may be a symptom of an underlying problem. It's important to get checked out to figure out what's really causing the exhaustion.
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9. Too Much Overthinking
We all experience nervousness or overthinking at times. However, when stressors keep building, you might feel like you’re in overdrive and just can’t settle down. If the same thoughts are replaying in your mind, you could be experiencing anxiety.
10. Putting Parents on a Pedestal
It's easy to think our parents' behavior is standard. After all, it's what we grew up with. But relentless criticism and control, which many of us have learned to tolerate, can cause long-term emotional damage. It's okay to question those patterns and seek help to better understand how they might be impacting you today.
11. Too Self-Critical
Most of us have an internal dialogue that criticizes or judges us: it can feel like normal self-reflection. But when your self-talk is overwhelmingly negative or harsh, it can significantly damage your self-esteem and mental well-being. Recognizing these patterns and seeking support can help you create a more compassionate inner voice.
12. It’s Not That Bad
Far too many people convince themselves that it's normal to minimize their mental health symptoms, that it's "not that bad," or that other people have it worse. But no one should feel that they have to struggle alone or "just deal with it." Seeking help is a strength, and you are worth the support you need to feel better and healthier.
13. Perfectionism
Wanting to do a good job and do your best is normal. But when you start to think everything you do must be perfect, that’s when the problems start. Working to the point of obsession and exhaustion is neither normal nor healthy. Accept that you are in control of the effort you put in, but not the result, and learn to let go.
14. Irritability
Feeling irritable or emotional is perfectly normal from time to time, and you may be more prone to moodiness during high-stress periods. However, if you find yourself frequently short-tempered, easily frustrated, or experiencing mood swings, it could be a sign that you need to pay attention to your mental health. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can make it difficult to regulate emotions, so be sure to reflect on your feelings.
15. Appetite Changes
It’s not uncommon for appetite to fluctuate during times of stress. However, if you’re eating significantly more or less than normal for extended periods of time, this could be a sign of underlying issues. These changes may also result in major weight gain or loss in a short period of time, which is worth looking into.
16. Constant Guilt
It’s normal to be cautious when meeting new people, but ongoing difficulty trusting friends, family, or partners may reflect deeper emotional wounds. Exploring these feelings with a counselor can help build healthier, more trusting connections.
17. Loss of Joy
Everyone has bad days and moments of sadness. If you find yourself frequently losing interest in things you once enjoyed, like hobbies or activities, it might be a sign that something more serious is happening. It's important to recognize this change and reach out for support to rediscover happiness.
18. Difficulty Trusting
It’s normal to be cautious when meeting new people. However, ongoing difficulty trusting friends, family, or partners may reflect deeper emotional wounds. Exploring these feelings with a counselor can help build healthier, more trusting connections.
19. Low Energy
Feeling fatigued or low in energy is normal, especially after long or stressful days. However, fatigue that's persistent and impacts focus or your ability to get out of bed can be a sign of an underlying mental health condition. A professional can help determine the cause and provide solutions to improve your energy levels and overall well-being.
20. Withdrawing From Loved Ones
Occasionally wanting to be alone is not abnormal. However, if you frequently withdraw from loved ones or keep people at a distance, it may be a sign of emotional distress. Contacting a friend or mental health professional may help you feel more engaged and supported.
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