Get the Comfort and Support You Deserve
Everyone always talks about the joys of motherhood, and it’s hard not to! You get to watch your child grow and experience the world, all while guiding them through their journey. To call it rewarding is an understatement—but parenthood comes with its fair share of challenges, too. Many mothers struggle with loneliness, and it’s worth talking about, so let’s dive into a few reasons why it happens and what you can do to manage it.
1. Distance From Your Partner
It’s easy to think that parenthood will bring you closer to your partner, but that doesn’t always happen. The sad truth is that parenthood is so busy it can actually alienate you from your support system—including your partner. Whether it’s no time for intimacy or a lack of support, new parents can feel the pressure pretty quickly.
2. Loss of Identity
As rewarding as motherhood is, it’s also an entirely new experience. Many mothers mourn their pre-baby selves, which can exacerbate the loneliness; you’re no longer your own person, you’re now a mother first and foremost. That identity shift is massive, and the implications make many mothers feel isolated.
3. It’s Harder to Make Friends
With so much to juggle during the day, it’s not always easy to make new friends. As much as we want adult company, we’re left worrying about our children, our schedules, dinner, and sometimes our careers—and that eats away at our free time.
4. Complete Lifestyle Shift
You were a career woman. You went out for drinks every Friday night. You took spontaneous road trips with your friends. But things are different now. Our lives take a complete 180 during parenthood, and it’s hard to deal with the reality that everything has changed.
5. Burnout
It’s easy to say we want time for ourselves or to make new friends, but burnout zaps our energy and leaves us with little desire to actually follow through. To make matters worse, it’s not like parents have days off either.
6. Loss of Friends
The reality of motherhood is that you might lose friends along the way. Kids demand attention, and with little to no time during the week, it’s hard to nourish relationships. Not only that, but a shift in priorities drives an even bigger wedge between you and loved ones.
7. Mom Guilt
If we could only turn our brains off! Sure, you’re out with girlfriends or soaking in the tub, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less stressed about the kids. Mothers worry about their parenting skills, their mistakes, and whether they’re up for the challenge—and that constant stress doesn’t do anything for a social life.
8. Crippling Demands of Motherhood
We’d love to meet up for coffee, but motherhood calls. It calls every day, in fact, which doesn’t leave much time for intimacy, a social life, or even time for ourselves. It’s particularly rough on new moms who may not have expected the level of unending dedication.
9. Expectations vs. Reality
Speaking of expectations, parenthood isn’t a walk in the park. Outside of the constant worry and exhaustion, many new mothers may find themselves without the village it takes to raise a child. Whether it’s friends who are too busy or parents moving away, those realities can worsen loneliness.
10. It’s Hard to Speak Up
Speaking up is easier said than done, especially about the struggles of motherhood. When you stay quiet, all that negativity festers and swells until you feel even worse, which doesn’t make parenting any easier.
As difficult as it is to break free, there are a few ways to bring back that glimmer of hope. Let’s dive into a couple of ways you can combat loneliness.
1. Be Open About It
We know it’s a little awkward, and we know it’s tough, but it’s important to address the issue. Talk to your partner. Be candid with your friends. Post about your experience in a safe space online. By talking about your struggles, you open the floor for similar experiences, which can make everyone feel less alone.
2. Join a Mom’s Group
In today’s day and age, many women are far more open about their experiences online. It could be a good avenue for you to air frustrations and speak with people who understand them. They may not be physical friends, but an online support group can offer just as much help.
3. Speak With a Therapist
There’s no shame in speaking with a therapist. Loneliness is no joke; it warrants a serious conversation with someone who will not only listen but also provide you with safe coping strategies. Depending on your sessions and the severity of your struggles, they may also suggest specific kinds of therapy.
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4. Try to Schedule Time With Friends
You might not see your friends as often as you once did, but that doesn’t mean you can’t see them at all! Schedule a coffee date. Carve out time for texting. It can even be something as simple as a weekly call. However you reach out, pencil your friends into your calendar.
5. Library Events
Libraries have amazing (and free) events that can help you get out of the house. Bring your child to a reading session or just make a day of perusing the shelves. Many parents flock to the library for classes and story times, which is a great opportunity for new friends.
6. Look Into the Apps
You’ve heard of Bumble, but have you heard about Bumble for Friends? What about Peanut, an app designed for new moms? Both are solid options to expand your community and meet new people. You’ll meet like-minded parents whose goals align with yours!
7. Invest in Self-Affirmations
Positive self-affirmations make all the difference between an anxious mind and a relaxed one. Though they seem a little corny upfront, give them a try the next time you get inside your head. Remind yourself that you’re capable. Tell yourself that you’re doing the best you can. Tell yourself that it’s okay to rest. Shifting the narrative is a good first step to the grace you deserve.
8. Rely on Your Partner
It’s hard to ask for help, but our partners are literally the second half of a whole. Ask them to take over when you need an afternoon to yourself. Let them watch the kids while you step out for a walk or a movie night with the girls. Remember: you’re both in this together!
9. Baby-and-Me Classes
Depending on how old your child is, baby-and-me classes are a great way to meet other parents. You can organize play dates, share experiences, and just have contact with fellow adults—all of which can take the load off your shoulders.
10. Schedule “Me Time”
If anyone deserves time alone, it’s mothers! Lean on your loved ones to watch your kids while you indulge in some much-needed personal time. Turn back to your hobbies. Hop in a bubble bath. Take a relaxing nap. Whatever it is, “me time” recharges our batteries and can combat some of that burnout.
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