Because Not Every Food Rule Deserves Your Attention
Diets are a strange business. They whisper promises of sleek new bodies, boundless energy, and new reserves of confidence. And for a while—sometimes a week, sometimes two—they almost seem to work. Until they don’t. The problem isn’t just that some are unsustainable. It’s that a handful are flat-out scams, designed less to nourish and more to sell books, powders, meal plans, and whatever supplement the company has stakes in. Let’s sift through the noise. Here are ten diets to ignore, and ten that hold up to scrutiny.
1. The Cabbage Soup Diet
Imagine subsisting on nothing but cabbage soup. This isn’t a diet; it’s punishment disguised as discipline. While on this diet, people lose water weight, get dizzy, and their kitchen starts to reek like a swamp. It’s a scam because the second you stop, everything you “lost” comes roaring back.
2. The Cotton Ball Diet
Believe it or not, this diet consists of people soaking cotton balls in juice to feel full without eating. And yes, as bizarre as it sounds, people have really tried this. Dangerous doesn’t even begin to cover it. This diet is a health hazard and a Darwin award in the making.
3. Juice Cleanses
At best, it’s expensive sugar water. At worst, it’s diarrhea and blood sugar crashes. Drinking kale with pineapple might feel virtuous, but your body needs fiber and nutrients that juice can’t satisfy. There is definitely value in incorporating health juices into your diet, but as a standalone, these aren’t going to shift the needle on your health.
4. The Master Cleanse
This cleanse consists of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. That’s it. Who decided crippling hunger pangs and frequent bathroom trips were the path to health? This one has been around for decades because it sounds mystical. In reality, it’s just starvation with a spicy aftertaste.
5. The Tapeworm Diet
This fad was introduced in the early 1900s, and yes, it meant swallowing parasite eggs. It was dangerous then and is still horrifying now. It’s now thankfully banned, though occasionally it resurfaces in certain online communities. Let’s call this what it is: body horror masquerading as slimming.
6. Grapefruit Diet
The gimmick here is that you need to eat half a grapefruit before every meal. The logic is that grapefruit contains fiber to make you feel full and some fat-burning enzymes that will supposedly help you lose weight more efficiently. Sometimes called The Hollywood Diet, this strategy is just marketing wrapped in sour pulp.
7. Cookie Diet
These meal replacement cookies are marketed as low-calorie and specially formulated to help users lose weight. They’re sold in shiny boxes at inflated prices, and while they can help you shave calories, so can eating a little less every day. You don’t need overpriced cookies to learn portion control.
8. The Baby Food Diet
The pitch here is simple: eat baby food. You’re permitted two jars for meals throughout the day, then a normal dinner. Besides the absurdity of spending money on strained peas, it trains you to eat like a toddler, not an adult with the ability to chew.
9. Alkaline Diet
This diet is based on the idea that foods change the pH of your blood. Spoiler: they don’t. Your body regulates pH very carefully, or else you’d find yourself in the ER. It’s pseudoscience that refuses to die, mostly because celebrities keep name-dropping it while sipping apple cider vinegar water.
Vitalii Pavlyshynets on Unsplash
10. The Breatharian Diet
There are some gurus out there who claim to live exclusively on air and sunshine. No food, only water. People have died from this. It’s less a diet than a cult belief, dressed up in pseudo-spiritual language. It’s the ultimate scam, because the buy-in isn’t just money—it’s your very life.
And now, here are ten diets that actually live up to the health claims surrounding them.
1. The Mediterranean Diet
This diet is backed by mountains of research, with several Mediterranean zones with people who routinely live over one hundred years. Eating this way actually allows for varied foods, including olive oil, vegetables, legumes, fish, and even red wine. It’s not rigid, more like a set of guiding principles, and it naturally lowers risk for heart disease.
2. The DASH Diet
This diet was originally designed to lower blood pressure, and it works. It consists of whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables. It’s not glamorous, but it’s practical. The name may sound like a 1990s tech startup, but the science checks out.
3. Flexitarian Eating
This diet consists mostly of plants, but it’s not militant. Meat and dairy are allowed, only less frequently. It’s flexible, hence the name, and that makes it doable long-term. The flexibility helps you sidestep the shame spirals when you cave for a burger.
4. Intermittent Fasting
In essence, this is just time-restricted eating, like an 8-hour eating window. Some people take it to the next level by skipping breakfast and having their first meal be lunch. It’s simple, fits into daily rhythms, and some evidence shows it helps regulate metabolism and allows for cellular repair during the period while you’re not eating.
5. Plant-Based Diet
This doesn’t mean going vegan, necessarily. Those who opt for plant-based nutrition simply prioritize whole, plant-based meals. This can mean beans, lentils, vegetables, and nuts. The fiber content is good for digestion, cholesterol, and often the grocery bill. Nobody’s asking you to give up cheese forever—though some do, happily.
6. The Nordic Diet
Think rye bread, root vegetables, oily fish, and berries. It feels sturdy and pleasantly primitive, like food made for people who chop wood in the snow. It’s nutrient-rich and surprisingly trendy in nutrition circles.
7. High-Protein Balanced Eating
Not Atkins. Not keto. This diet simply ensures that each meal has enough protein to support muscle and satiety. This can be chicken, tofu, eggs, or beans. You can even pair it with carbs and healthy fats, it’s that well-rounded. It’s one of those non-flashy, quietly effective ways to feel full without obsessing.
8. The MIND Diet
This is a mix of Mediterranean and DASH, with a primary focus on brain health. It includes lots of leafy greens, nuts, berries, and olive oil, and is designed to help protect against dementia. It’s not a cure-all, but the data’s encouraging. Also, berries taste better than pills.
9. Whole30
Yes, it has an annoying fan base. Yes, it can be restrictive. But for people trying to identify food sensitivities, 30 days of cutting processed stuff can give clarity into what’s causing those immune reactions. The trick is not turning it into a lifestyle cult after you’ve figured out your triggers.
10. Traditional Balanced Eating
This is the least swanky on our list but probably the most realistic. Enjoying a balanced diet consisting of three meals a day of mostly whole foods, with the occasional treat seems obvious—and it is. It doesn’t trend on TikTok because it isn’t particularly radical, yet sometimes the simplest answer is the right one.
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