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20 Rituals for Coping With Grief After the Loss of a Loved One


20 Rituals for Coping With Grief After the Loss of a Loved One


Learning to Let Go

Losing a loved one can be one of the most harrowing experiences in a person's life. This is something that a lot of people go through, however, which is why there are numerous strategies out there to help cope with the loss.

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1. Write letters

Many people find it helps to write letters to the person they have lost. You can address it to them and write out your feelings, and continue to do this for as long as you need. This is a way to share your life updates with them, and you can always keep the letters afterward to revisit.

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2. Give it Time

It’s important to give yourself specific time to grieve. Lots of people try to stay distracted, but this just bottles up your feelings. Instead, spend an hour every day sitting with your feelings and letting them breathe through you.

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3. Really Talk to Someone

Talking to someone can be helpful, but instead of wasting time with casual conversation, really dive into your grief. Find a trusted friend and let out the pressures you’re feeling inside.

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4. Speak Aloud

Grieving out loud can be helpful too. Don’t be afraid to say to yourself that you’re angry, or that you miss them. Naming these emotions is a fantastic way to process them.

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5. Don’t Hold it In

Lots of people try to stay strong in the face of grief, perhaps for the sake of others, or maybe because they can’t bear the pain. But holding it in only extends the grieving period and prevents you from processing the emotions in a healthy way.

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6. Light a Candle

Turning toward more ritualistic behaviors, lots of people find it comforting to light candles for those that passed. You can do this on special occasions, such as their birthdays, as it serves as a serene way to keep their memory alive.

lighted candle in dark roomSixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

7. Hold a Ceremony

Of course, many people prefer to hold a ceremony, ranging from a wake to a funeral, to both. If that’s a bit too formal, you can have a small gathering with close friends or even do a solo ceremony to contemplate your feelings.

lighted candles on black metal candle holderEli Solitas on Unsplash

8. Talk to Them

Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean you can’t continue to talk to them. In fact, lots of people use prayer or meditation as a way to speak with their loved one and check in. Even if you’re not religious, saying the words aloud can be more helpful than holding them in.

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9. Cherish Keepsakes

If your loved one has left you any souvenirs or has favorite items around the house, you can use them as a way to feel close. Additionally, lots of people find comfort in creating little memory shelves with the person’s favorite objects.

gold eiffel tower miniature on white tableFiona Murray-deGraaff on Unsplash

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10. Cook Their Favorite Meals

If you have fond memories of cooking their favorite dish or eating some of their tasty meals, then instead of hiding away from it, embrace it. You can cook up these dishes as a way to remember and reconnect with their memory.

cooked food on black ceramic bowlFarhad Ibrahimzade on Unsplash

11. Visit Water

Lots of people find it relaxing to get outside, especially near water. Nature has a healing energy that can help you feel and process your emotions. Additionally, going outside is known to help boost mental cognition.

brown wooden dock near calm body of water surrounded by treesAaron Burden on Unsplash

12. Meditate

Even if meditating doesn’t come naturally to you, the idea here is to sit with your feelings and let them wash over you. Spend a few minutes up to an hour quietly thinking about the person, and don’t be afraid to feel whatever feelings you need to.

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13. Talk About Them

Talking about the person to others is a great way to keep their memory alive and also get your thoughts out of your head and into the open. Tell the stories they would tell you, or if you remember a funny joke they loved, share it instead of keeping it in.

a couple of people sitting at a table with cups of coffeePriscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

14. Pray for Them

If you’re religious, or even if you’re not, you can say little prayers for them whenever the moment strikes. Some people do this to ensure they’re in a better place wherever they are, or sometimes just to let them know you’re thinking about them.

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15. Stay Active

The body grieves physically as much as it does emotionally. It’s important not to dissolve into a sedentary lifestyle and keep your body healthy, despite the desire to spend the next few months in bed.

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16. Journal

Journaling your thoughts is similar to writing letters, but rather than addressing them, you’re addressing yourself. This is a great way to name your feelings, and writing them down also helps you to process them.

a person writing on a piece of paper with a penHannah Olinger on Unsplash

17. Donate on Their Behalf

Lots of people find comfort in giving out donations on behalf of their lost loved one. This is a great way to keep their legacy alive and do good in their name.

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18. Make Art

Using art as an outlet for your emotion has been a long-standing ritual for ages. Lots of people take their sadness and anger and use it to fuel their creativity.

assorted-color paintbrushesRhondaK Native Florida Folk Artist on Unsplash

19. Build Their Legacy

Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean they don’t have an influence anymore. In addition to donating on their behalf, you can also volunteer in their place, or do good deeds in their name.

man in red t-shirt holding white plastic bottleIsmael Paramo on Unsplash

20. Write About It

Finally, many people find it comforting to write poems, songs, and even stories about their loved one. This is a beautiful way to honor their memory, and in doing so, you can bring yourself comfort too.

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