Scraped Your Knee? Rub Some Moldy Bread On It!
Medicine has gone through a tremendous amount of transformation over the years. Back in the day, remedies for health issues seemed like a nightmare or a practical joke. From milk blood to spinning chairs, here's what ancient doctors were prescribing:
1. Sleep Inside A Dead Whale
An article dating back to 1899 mentioned a hotel in Australia that treated patients with rheumatoid arthritis. The treatment involved a voyage out to sea to seek help from a newly deceased whale. The whale would be sliced open and used as a bed for the patient to lie in for a couple hours. The whale's decaying blubber was said to have healing properties that could relieve pain and inflammation.
2. Cigarettes To Cure Asthma
Smoking cigarettes to cure asthma seems like a joke, but it wasn't a laughing matter in the early 1900s. Whether it was to hide the truth about cigarette side effects or not, doctors were giving asthma patients a pack to cure them. The temporary relief and relaxation from smoking must've been enough to fool them all into thinking their coughs would subside long-term.
3. Milk Transfusions
In the late 19th century, milk was praised for more than its calcium content. Full-fat cow's milk was considered a blood substitute because it was believed it would somehow become white blood cells inside the body. Although death was often a side effect, the transfusion was performed several times.
4. "Soothing Syrup"
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup was advertised in the early 1900s as medicine for babies but its list of ingredients will shock you. Made from alcohol and morphine, there's no wonder it seemed like magic medicine for babies suffering from teething pains. For obvious reasons, too much of this stuff would be lethal.
Jeremiah Curtis & Sons on Wikimedia
5. Whirling Chairs
Did you ever think spinning until you pass out would be a psychiatric treatment? Mental illness was treated with many horrifying methods back in the 19th century and whirling chairs was one of them. Patients would sit in a chair that was modified to spin rapidly until they fainted form dizziness. It was believed that as they spun around, the contents of the brain would be scrambled and shifted back in place.
6. Mercury Antiseptic
Despite that the first emperor of China suepposedley died from mercury poisoning because he thought it would turn him immortal, mercury was still used in medicine. Used commonly as an antiseptic and in ointments for skin infections, folks might've seen instant results but it probably caused more damage down the road.
7. Corpse Medicine
The ancient Egyptians are renowned for their mummifying but did you know how far they would go to treat the living with the dead? "Mummy powder", or ground skull, was used to treat a migraine. Human fat was used to rub on body aches and the blood of a gladiator was thought to cure epilepsy.
8. Radioactive Water
From protein smoothies to kombucha, we've seen a few health beverage crazes, but none can compare to radioactive water. It was believed that radium-infused water could cure mental illness and prevent the aging process. Health enthusiasts would visit spas to soak in radioactive treatments and doctors were prescribing this toxic water for many diseases.
9. Trepanation
Trepanation is when a hole is drilled into a patient's skull. Do you have a headache just thinking about it? Try having the procedure back in 10,000 BCE when no anesthesia was involved. The horrifying surgery was conducted to release evil spirits trapped inside the patient.
10. Leeches & Bloodletting
Bloodletting was a treatment for all kinds of conditions, from nose bleeds to exorcisms. Often performed by a "barber-surgeon" who would slice you open or use a leech to suck your blood. To note, yes, a "barber-surgeon" was a guy who cut your hair and your veins.
11. Tobacco Smoke Enema
Tobacco smoke wasn't always blown out into the air, evidently. The smoke was blown up the bottoms of patients suffering from various ailments and it was thought to be an effective method. It's clear that smoking in any form was quite the health fad back in the day.
12. Urine Teeth Whitener
It seems white teeth was always sought after but maybe not fresh breath. In the Roman times, urine was used to brighten your smile. Apparently, the ammonia dissolved stains and people went as far as collecting the liquid gold from public toilets.
13. Heroin Cough Medicine
Average cough syrups just weren't potent enough. Sadly ironically, heroin was once an ingredient used to replace addictive opioids. The dangerous drug helped soothe a dry throat but it's addictive potency wasn't discovered right away.
14. Chloroform For Asthma
Here's another extremely dangerous remedy used to treat asthma. It was once believed that chloroform would relieve all of your unpleasant symptoms. Although it may have worked in small doses, old reports suggest there were several fatal overdoses.
15. Mouse Paste
Mice are often the subjects for experimentation and they were once a common ingredient for medicine. Mice pastes were used to treat issues from toothaches to measles in ancient Egypt and Elizabethan England alike. Mashed mouse was mixed in with other ingredients so the effects of its benefits are questionable.
16. Moldy Bread
Need to disinfect a cut? Rub an expired baguette on it. The ancient Egyptians used the most peculiar medicines but we never thought bread would be part of one. It's not too far fetch when you think about it, since certain fungi are known to fight off bad bacteria.
17. Snake Oil
If you're able to wrangle a venomous snake, its body contains a lot of omega-3 producing oil. For hundreds of years, snake oil has been used in Chinese medicine to soothe joint aches and pains. Although not as common, the fatty serpent oil is still used today.
Wesley Fryer from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA on Wikimedia
18. Malaria To Treat Paresis
Want to cure your paresis with another disease? Before the discovery of penicillin, malaria pills were prescribed. The pills infected patients with malaria which would give their body a high fever. The fever often killed the syphilis but death was a risky side effect.
19. Paraffin Wax For Wrinkles
Want youthful skin? Inject your face with jet fuel! Paraffin wax was once used like botox to fill in wrinkles. Paraffin is now commonly used as fuel for engines and its wax is an ingredient for things like crayons and candles.
20. Ether Anesthetic
Highly-flammable ether was once used in the mid-19th century as an anesthetic during surgical procedures. It might have been effective if you made it through surgery without an explosion. Luckily, the anesthesia used today has no risk of causing a fire.
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